Instead of asking what your life purpose is, most people start with THE question: “What’s your passion?”.
As if their whole trajectory of life is dependent on this one answer.
(Searching for life purpose and passion and wondering where they are)
In some cultures, parents would place a few objects in front of a 1-year-old baby and observe the first few items picked up by the baby.
- Calculator, for an accountant.
- Piggybank/money, for an entrepreneur.
- Sports ball, for an athlete.
- Test tubes for a scientist.
- And so on.
The first two items picked up by the baby will be the ultimate life purpose, career path, and decision.
Gosh, a 1-year-old baby deciding a 70-year future and career.
As grown-ups, we too decide like babies at times.
“Helping people is my passion, therefore I want to be a doctor!”
Oh, that’s so cool! Why do you want to be a doctor?
“I want to help people and save lives!”
Why do you want to help people and save lives?
“Uh… because… I don’t know… because that’s the right thing to do?”
That’s depressing.
And the list goes on…
“My passion is to be a millionaire!”
That’s a great passion! (Who wouldn’t want to be a millionaire?) Why do you want to be a millionaire?
“So that I can travel the world and do/buy whatever I want!”
So, what are some activities that you’re doing daily which could help you be a millionaire?
“Uh… sorry, WHAT?”
(choose the right and only door or be doomed)
Is there someone in your life that has really lived out whatever ‘passion’ that they have just told you?
Well, there might be some.
Most don’t.
Over the course of life, many people refine (and some might change) their ultimate ‘passion’ direction.
Then, why do people still ask this ‘passion question’ when most people are not living the ‘passionate life’ which they have just described?
Well, the truth is that everyone wants to feel good.
It’s easy to want a happy, carefree, easy-going life.
People want to be rich, look amazing, popular, well respected, and have amazing relationships.
Imagine walking into the room and people parting like the Red Sea as you walked across the room. Who wouldn’t like that?
The second widely asked question is…
“What do you want in life?”
If I asked you, “What do you want in life?”, and you answer something like, “Oh I want to be happy, have a good family, and a great job.”. This answer is so generic, it doesn’t even mean anything.
I, myself have fallen into the trap of asking these 2 questions.
After many years of screwing myself over with these 2 questions, I realized that the ‘passion question’ and the ‘what do you want in life’ question are screwed-up questions.
Why?
Because the answers are limitless and vague at times.
And that’s the issue.
When answers are not quantifiable, there are no measurements to them.
Without measurements, how can you improve?
KNOWING YOUR LIFE PURPOSE WHILE YOU’RE YOUNG.
My youngest brother, Noah, had been proclaiming that he will be a pastor one day since he was still in pre-school.
Honestly, a part of me was very skeptical – he’s so young, how can he be so sure?
The other side of me was very encouraged knowing that he is so focused and persistent on his goals – what he wanted to do and who he would like to become one day.
I had the privilege of witnessing the baby steps he takes daily to accomplish this goal of his.
He’s now 20 years old and his vision of being a pastor one day still stands.
He has been going through Bible studies and taking all the necessary classes so that he could one day be a pastor who is compassionate, loving, and knowledgeable.
DIFFERENT SEASONS, DIFFERENT PASSIONS.
Now, let’s talk about me.
I have a degree in Psychology, worked as a teacher for 2 years, was very involved with investments (Real Estate), and have been traveling around the world for another 2 years.
Many times, I don’t even know what my ultimate calling is, nor do I know what my ‘passion’ truly is.
At different seasons in life, my passion could be something different.
Sometimes, I truly wish that I could be like Noah, who knows exactly what he wants to do in life and strives his best to do it.
Some people know exactly who they want to become in their lives, and many others are like me.
Instead of beating ourselves up and drilling the “What is my passion?” or “What do I want in life?” questions over and over again, there’s an even more critical question to ask.
This is the question…
“What am I willing to struggle for?”
Everyone wants to feel sexy, be fit, and stay healthy. But not everyone is willing to hit the gym, sweat it out, or eat healthily.
Because it’s easier to stay in bed, watch Netflix for 5 hours straight, gobble down the junk food, drink excessively, and so on.
If you asked someone, “What kind of body do you want?”, and they say, “Oh, I’d like to be curvy and have the sexy S shape, but I hate working out and dieting.”.
You would scoff.
Isn’t it obvious, the kind of body this person would have if she doesn’t want to work out and eat cleanly?
Everyone wants to meet his/her Mr. Right or Mrs. Right and have an amazing and loving relationship – to kiss passionately, love fiercely, and enjoy each other’s presence as if heaven made a way for this pair of love birds.
Hey cutie, are you the one I’ve been waiting for?
Is everyone willing to go through the difficult discussions, the long distances, the misunderstandings, the hardships when one party falls ill, or to tolerate the stinky breath the partner has in the mornings?
No.
Everyone wants to be rich, well-respected, and have all the money to spend in the world.
How amazing it is to buy whatever I want and not look at the price tag? Yeah!?
Sadly, not everyone is willing to grind and hustle 80 hours a week, stay up at night to complete those accounts, miss out on the latest movies, and so on.
In my humble opinion, instead of trying to answer the “What’s my passion?” and “What do I want in life?” question, ask yourself this instead.
“What am I willing to struggle for?”.
WHAT DO YOU (REALLY) WANT?
Sometimes, you’d probably find out this horrifying truth: maybe you didn’t really want (fill in the blanks) as much as you thought you’d wanted to.
I always thought I wanted to be a singer, hopefully, one day I’ll share the stage with Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Josh Groban, and so on.
I even took a photo together with David Foster, (the producer of many hit songs) in Singapore in 2012.
I would fantasize singing in an auditorium for 10,000 people, all lights are off, just the spotlight on me.
When I finished my song, everyone would give a standing ovation with claps and cheers all around.
Maybe, Simon Cowell would hit the golden buzzer on America’s Got Talent for me, and I’ll see you in Los Angeles.
(Resource: Giphy.com)
For many years, I’d practice singing, join the choir, harmonizing all different kinds of songs, and so on.
I was even a worship leader for an international band.
Year after year, the progress of me being a hit singer goes down the drain just because I did everything else except the basics of just recording a song.
I finally realized that even though I love singing, I didn’t want to go through the pain of being a professional singer.
I love and enjoy the thoughts of people cheering and clapping, but it wasn’t strong enough for me to train to be a professional singer.
It’s really just that simple, I didn’t really want it, even though I thought I did.
That’s just how life works.
To have the benefit of something, you must also want the struggles of it.
- If you want the prize, you have to deal with the struggle.
- If you want love, you have to deal with the disagreements.
- If you want the results, you have to go through the tough processes.
To have that smoking hot beach body, you have to endure the sweat, the soreness after working out, and the strict diet.
To own that beautiful big mansion, you have to take those calculated-but-still-risky business moves, sack underperforming employees/friends, the late nights, and the criticisms.
To turn a stranger into a significant person in your life, you have to walk towards that person and ask for the number!
To eat and enjoy the fruit, one must plow the land, water the plant, clear the weeds and patiently wait for the tree to grow.
It is the same when it comes to pursuing your passions.
We can’t just sit, dream, and hope that everything would come into place one day.
What are you willing to struggle for to see your passions come true?
The values that you are willing to struggle for determines who you are as a person.
The person who’s willing to hit the gym and eat cleanly will have the looks.
The person who’s willing to hustle, grind and work smart will attain the rewards.
So, my beautiful friends, what strong reasons do you have to achieve your passions?
How much does it worth?
- To provide for your family
- Care for your children
- Pursue your dreams
- Be your own girl boss
Count the cost. Remember that the amount you’re willing to struggle for will determine your success.
This blog post is inspired by The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck
Read Next:
How to Feel Enough? 5 Proven Ways To Make You Feel Absolutely Confident
Avoid Burn Out: 23 Free Easy and Valuable Ideas for Your Self-Care
Leave a comment! Let me know what you think about it.
Cheers.